During my last few therapy sessions I’ve been talking to my therapist about keeping the balance between things that I like to do that might not be the best for my health… or the most considerate of others… or the most productive, and things that I do for my health, for others, for my highest self. I told her that I enjoyed spending time on self-improvement, meditation and prayer, and that I also enjoyed things that had nothing to do with self-improvement. That sometimes I just wanted to be a whole imperfect human that ate pizza and drank Yager bombs and slept in hella late and spent the whole day in bed having sex.
My therapist is the fucking best and gave me this to put what I was feeling into a different context:
Thesis + Antithesis = Synthesis
My spiritual, highest self + my comfortable in it’s current state self = Literally Me
I am the child of god and the flower that grew from the mud. It’s not mine to control. And yes, i’m focused. I’m serious. I’m growing. And I also am where I am right now. Here is cool for right now while I get my plan together. So blaming myself for not putting the drank down when I feel that I have to in order to be this better idea of myself is not the key to spiritual development. In fact, who has the keys? Most of us have a thesis.