It’s been a long journey of acceptance with my relationship between myself and my pleasures. It feels like since I was young i’ve been discouraged from pursuing what actually brings me pleasure. What’s that line? Why everything supposed to be bad make me feel so good? In fact, I feel that what i’m not interested in, including activities and actions that are unhealthy and unhelpful for my prosperity, has been shown to be more accepted of me than what brings me joy, health, and helps me to thrive. I’m talking about sex, food, hobbies, work, attire. I’m talking about traveling alone, polyamory and my queer sexuality, wearing men’s clothes, wearing revealing clothing, speaking honestly and directly, forgiveness, confidence, persistence.
Each society comes with its set of spoken and unspoken rules. So does each community and sub-community. I’ve been a part of many sub-communities. Each one leads me to one main idea that i’ve recently been able to put into words: life is yours for the making. It’s not an original idea, but it is definitely overlooked and underrated. No matter where you are, where you go, there will always be and idea being pressed onto you on how to live. These expectations aren’t inherently bad, but when accepted unquestioningly, you forfeit your freedom of choice. We have a choice. Is the way you live, think, speak allowing you to live your dreams? Is there always something that needs to happen first before you reach out to them? Many of us feel like there are “bad” or “wrong” pieces of us, or things about us that need to be changed. But is that part of yourself hurting yourself or others?? If not, then what is it about you that’s wrong? And another question, who’s voice is it in your head stopping you from do what you want?
Life is long and short simultaneously. I want to enjoy it. And while there are environmental, cultural, and other factors that play a part in the way I see my life, in the mental access I have to what gives me pleasure, I have the ability to choose whether to blindly follow the behavioral rules set for me, or to, at the very least, question whether these rules are weighing me down or lifting me up. Pleasure is the balance to contribution. Pleasure is valid. And while not all of us have the possible opportunity to indulge in all things that bring us pleasure, many of us find ways to make any piece of our life pleasurable. The question of this article is, why is pleasure taboo? The follow up is, do you want yours to be?