there are no good and bad forces inside of us. just forces. that’s why i am the true judge of no one and no one is the true judge of me. that being said i do have my perspective on the world. and i take time to categorize it to better understand it and myself. what triggers certain emotions i call “good”, what triggers other i call “bad.” the fire inside of me, though, is both/neither, and allows me to create as well as destroy. both necessary for my success(survival).
today after reading a tarotscope on instagram i started to pay more attention to the energy that i bring to spaces that i enter.
powerful. aggressive. surreal.
and i questioned how i felt about that. at first i felt that it was something to be changed. that my aggressive/powerful presence brought discomfort to others so it was something to be checked and transformed but i realized that my current energy is my transformation. my transformation from
subservient. insecure. nervous.
an old self i am currently leaving after 7 years. one that was a response and a learned trait. not nature but nurture. a soldier i brought with me into this life and again i am coming into her.
in the words of Audre Lorde,
“my anger has meant pain to me but it has also meant survival, and before i give it up i’m going to be sure that there is something at least as powerful to replace it on the road to clarity.”